Ocean and Sky
by rayziedayzie
Summary: When Rin decides to compete in the medley relay, Gou and Haru realize that they are not as different from one another as they thought. After all, their childhood was entirely centered around the same person - Rin. (One-shot)


Takes place during the later episodes, after the festival where Rin breaks down in front of Iwatobi Elementary. Rin realizes his emptiness without Haruka and the others and decides to join the relay with the Samezuka team.

This was pretty quickly written, and the Free! OST was heavily inspirational toward it. I haven't written a fanfic in a really long while, but this anime sparked the fire again. It's a really great anime. Thanks to Lea for showing it to me!

Also, I just love me some biceps and pecs. NOW READ :D

* * *

He stood in front of the door for a long time before knocking. When he did, he knocked too quietly, and cursed himself for being so reluctant. He took a deep breath in and out.

He finally banged on the door three times with his fist.

"Wah – uh, coming!" He heard. "I'll be right – OW – there!"

He felt that pounding ache in his heart again, but ignored it. He wished he hadn't knocked at all. Just as he was about to turn around and bail, the door swung wide open, and a flash of red hair stopped him in his tracks.

"Hello, can I help – "

Gou dropped the sentence. Her mouth dropped open slightly, and she almost dropped the basket of laundry that she was juggling. Her hair was in a low braid now, and her apron was covered in stains. Her auburn eyes widened with shock.

"…Onii-chan," she whispered. "You're home."

Rin stared down at the welcome mat, feeling heat on his cheeks and still wondering what he was doing. Before he could react, however, he saw laundry flying everywhere and was wrapped in a crushing, warm embrace.

"Onii-chan!" Gou cried, hugging her brother much too tightly, tears springing to her eyes. "You're home!"

"Alright, alright," Rin muttered under her smothering hug. "I know."

Gou let him go and welcomed him inside, talking excitedly while hurriedly gathering up the laundry that littered the front porch. Rin walked inside the Matsuoka home, took a few steps, and just stood silent. It had been a long time. Once he set foot inside, he wondered why he'd avoided it for so long. He hated the boarding school. This was, and would always be, home. He breathed in the scent, and the memories, and looked around as if it were a stranger's house, making note of the new furniture and renovations. Gou had been talking for a while now, but he hadn't heard any of it.

"Where's mom?" he interrupted. He noticed the missing presence the instant he walked in.

Gou placed the laundry in the corner, and walked into the kitchen to stir something boiling in a pot. He saw her flinch at the question.

"She's been on vacation for a few weeks. She deserved it, she's been working herself way too hard."

_ A few weeks?_

"So you've been here on your own?"

"Yep!" She chirped, cleaning up the mess on the stove when the pot boiled over. "Holding down the fort! Are you hungry, Rin? It's a good thing I made so much stew!"

Rin clenched his fists at his side, trying to calm down. He knew that Gou was lying; their mother hadn't had a single day's hard work since their father had died. She was probably off running around, partying with younger men. He also knew that it had probably already been a few weeks, and that Gou had no idea where their mother went or when she would return.

Before he could say anything, two hot bowls of stew were placed on the small table in the living room, and Gou stood before him with her hands on her hips and a stern grin.

"You're an athlete, so you have to eat hearty. Eat at least two bowls, okay?"

And for the next hour, the Matsuoka siblings sat at the dinner table together and ate. Fleeting memories of family dinners came back to them from their childhood. Rin ate in silence, and was surprised that Gou did not dominate the conversation as she used to – she spoke every once in a while about school and friends, and the rest of the meal was held in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, though, because each time he looked up, Gou wore a soft, contented smile. It made him feel warm. It almost made him forget what brought him here.

As time wore on, he couldn't help but notice that she hadn't said a word about the swim club. Not that he was listening for it, anyway.

The dull ache in his chest began again, and he was painfully reminded exactly why he'd blindly wandered all the way home in the first place.

Gou must've noticed the change in his face, because she quietly spoke up.

"Haruka, Makoto, and Nagisa are all training their hardest for the medley relay. I don't know how you swimmers build up so much determination and endurance." She pumped a fist in the air. "I admire it!"

Rin said nothing. Gou was quiet, then looked at her brother with a gentle smile.

"They all wish you the best of luck in the 100m free, Onii-chan."

The words slapped him like an open palm, stabbed him like a knife. He slowly closed his fists, squeezing them tightly. The ache in his chest thudded painfully, increasing his adrenaline. The overpowering anger was threatened with a wave of guilt, which only made him even angrier.

In his head, he could see their laughing, smiling faces. That was what broke him.

Gou stood up. "So, who's up for thirds –"

"I joined the medley relay team."

She looked down at her brother, with a puzzled expression. What he said was her imagination. _Right_?

"What did you say?" she questioned.

He looked up with an aggressive glare that scared her. He stood, his towering build shadowing over her. His blood-red eyes and shark-tooth snarl cut right through her.

"I _will_ _not_ swim free." His voice was low and growling. "I'm swimming the relay."

Gou stared at him. Her expression evolved slowly. _This can't be happening_. All of the hopeful light in her eyes disappeared. Her lips pursed tightly, her jaw clenched. She looked down, hair covering her eyes.

"You can't…" she whispered, quivering. "You wouldn't."

"Too late," he slurred harshly. "Already cleared it with Captain Mikoshiba."

Rin felt a swell of angry pride rise up in him. Then, he looked down at his sister. He tried to ignore it, but he couldn't; she was shaking.

"No…"

She shook her head slowly, then more rapidly, and then furiously. This time, it was her turn to clench her fists too tightly.

"No, no, NO!" She cried, looking up at him with angry panic in her eyes. "Why?! Why would you do something like that?! Just when we thought that Haru could finally be okay, just when he became free from his guilt… Why are you so determined to undermine your friends' happiness?!"

Rin stood in shock. He had never seen his sister's auburn eyes look so raged, so livid. The pain in his chest thumped harder, and he felt a pang of fear when he saw resentment in her eyes. _Why was she so angry…? Why does she care?!_

"Friends?! Tch, happiness has nothing to do with it," he scoffed, seething. "This is a sport, nothing more."

"Nothing more? _Nothing_ _more_?!" She yelled, taking a step forward, unafraid. "Haruka sees something more. To him, swim has never been considered a sport – it is a lifestyle! You think Dad saw it as a simple sport? Do you?!"

And suddenly, Rin was speechless. Gou looked down and violently brushed away the oncoming tears. He could almost see the indignation rising up within her; he knew that it was coming faster than she could comprehend, just like his. She clenched her fists and shouted,

"Just because the past is past doesn't mean you can pretend it doesn't exist!"

That triggered something. Rin flinched, and his glare became more intense than ever before. Clenching his fists wasn't working to control his anger – he was rapidly spiraling out of control.

"Oh, I see how it is. So you're just best friends with those idiots now, are you? You know everything there is to know about each of them, right? Or better yet, you're in love with each of them?!" He laughed maniacally, stepping forward and spitting in her face. "I'll bet you love all the freakin' attention they condescend to give you every day! Right?! Which one will you choose, Gou?! Don't come crying to me when they reject your freaking confession!"

Finally, silence enveloped the house. Only a neighborhood dog in the distance barked at the commotion. The silence only seemed to echo the harsh screams. Rin unclenched his fists, and the pain in his heart increased tenfold with instant regret.

"Gou-chan, I – "

"Get out."

The words stung more than he could've ever imagined. He couldn't see her face. She stared at the ground, auburn hair hiding her eyes. It killed him inside to see her standing so lifeless. It killed him to know that he'd caused this sadness. But when she finally looked up, it only killed him more. He was wrong. It wasn't sadness. It was rage.

"Go back to Samezuka," she whispered.

Her voice was quiet and intense. Gou's eyes were consumed with red fire, filled with resentment and hate. There was not a single tear in her eyes – only anger, defiance, coldness. It scared him more than he could believe. In his innocent little sister's eyes was everything that only he could have taught her.

"C'mon, Gou, you don't have a good enough reason to push me away – "

"I don't even know you anymore," she said bitterly.

She turned away and gathered the empty dishes from the table, and walked slowly toward the kitchen, turning her back on her brother.

"Is that reason enough?"

Rin chest seized and he couldn't breathe. This was more pain than he could take. He looked once at his little sister's back, standing in the kitchen. Her long red hair. He envisioned how short it was when she was small. He envisioned her childish, carefree giggle. He envisioned his father and his mother, standing beside her. The pain was biting, ripping at him. He turned to the wall in the living room, and saw that damn childhood medley relay picture one last time.

Then, he ran out of the house.

As soon as Gou heard the front door slam shut, she dropped the dishes from her shaking hands into the sink, and let the tears fall.

* * *

He panted heavily, in time with the rhythm of his strides. The sand scattered with every step. He looked out at the water as he ran; it gave him peace of mind. He didn't know how to run on dry land without the water near his side.

Suddenly, a flash of bright red appeared on the shoreline.

His thoughts went immediately to Rin, and he felt a twinge of nerves in his gut. However, when he came closer, the person had a small, petite frame and long, flowing red hair. He stood behind her.

"Gou?"

She whirled around to her name, her sunset hair flying behind her in a long, loose braid. Her rosy red eyes registered surprise.

"H-Haruka?" she stuttered.

Haru's sweaty, muscular frame was rising and falling slowly, trying to catch his breath. He stared at Gou; he could see that she was startled. She was still wearing an apron, and her cheeks seemed flushed. He thought it was his imagination, but her eyes looked red and shiny.

"W-what are you doing all the way out here?!" she asked incredulously.

"I run here," Haru answered bluntly. _Not very often_. He scratched his head. "I've never seen anybody on the beach this late."

Gou laughed nervously, folding her arms and looking down at the sand. Haru stared at her and noticed that something was off. She didn't quite seem to be her usual cheerful self.

"Why are you out here?" he asked.

She smiled, and turned back toward the water. The sea breeze blew her hair behind her gently and impetuously. Her eyes were soft and full of wonder, and sadness.

"You boys are always so fascinated with the water. I thought I'd try to see what you see," she said quietly. "You told me once that the water gives you clarity… I wanted to try it out for myself."

Haru looked at the team manager for a long time. He couldn't think of any words to say, so he didn't say any. Staring out at the water like that, Gou reminded him a lot of Rin. Finally, he spoke up.

"…Is it working?"

Gou swiftly plopped down into the sand, curling her knees in front of her and folding her arms around them.

"Not really," she snickered, smiling.

Haru sat down beside her, and the two of them began to talk, carefree and relaxed. Gou expressed how excited she was about regionals, and the rush that she felt when their team had won the relay at prefecturals. Haru listened. He felt his adrenaline pumping just hearing her speak about the upcoming tournament. When he thought about it, talking to Gou was the only other time that he didn't dread competitive swimming. He actually got excited listening to her. It was the same feeling he got right before he jumped off the starting block.

It made him feel like he was talking to the enthusiastic Rin from the past. It made him want to compete.

As Haru listened to Gou, and stared into her eyes full of excitement and passion, he could feel his adrenaline rising and his heart pumping. He began to wonder if it was the topic of swimming that excited him… or Gou. He shrugged it off.

"…And your free form has been so controlled lately! I can tell that you're really working on guiding your strength into the strokes. It's amazing!" She beamed with a lively glow. "We'll make the final for sure."

Haru gave a smile – sort of. "You helped us out too, team manager."

Gou nodded emphatically, beaming ear to ear. "That's what friends are for!"

Haru remained silent. _Friends_. When he thought about it, she was right – they _were_ friends. The reason he'd never realized it before was because he found it so easy to be around her. She was always so contented, and so happy, just like the others. She encouraged them with everything she had. Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei – they would all agree. All of them, together, were friends.

As the silence wore on, Haru turned to her to say something; before he could, he noticed that her expression had changed. He kept silent. Gou's optimistic eyes had faded.

"Hey, Haruka?" she said quietly. Her pensive eyes looked across the water. "When you were all close with Rin – when you all swam together – did he seem… happy?"

_Happy? Rin? _Haru thought back. He let the memories of their childhood rush back to him. Everyone was always smiling. That was the way it had always been. Some of the best memories that Haru had of Rin were the ones where he wore that mischievous, shark-tooth smile.

Some of the worst ones came back, too, but Haru didn't dwell on them.

"Yeah," Haru said. "I think he was then. He was chasing his dream; that was what made him happy."

It wasn't long after that, however, that Rin's dreams changed and happiness didn't matter anymore. Haru kept silent.

Gou let out a small sigh, which Haru just barely heard. He could tell that something was bothering her by the furrowed crease in her brow, and her downcast eyes that were normally so cheerful. He leaned forward to see her face better. He didn't know why he asked; it just slipped out.

"You okay?"

She didn't look at him right away. She remained quiet for a long time, staring out at the water with thought-filled eyes and clasped hands. Haru tried not to ask again, and didn't want to intrude, but he found himself wanting to. He had grown so familiar with her cheerful, smiling spirit; seeing her like this bothered him more than he thought it could.

She still stared at the ocean. She scanned its vast waters as if she were searching for something in its dark, quiet waves.

"Haruka..." she said quietly. "My brother has decided to swim the medley relay for Samezuka."

Haru kept quiet. He heard what she said, but had troubled registering it in his mind. He replayed it over and over in his mind, and still couldn't decipher the words immediately. _What?_

Gou looked directly at him with pain and contempt in her eyes. Her voice was low and quiet.

"You're going to compete with Rin again. All of you."

Haru didn't know how to conceal his shock. He didn't even know what to feel. He felt immediate anger and disappointment that Rin could not let it go. Rin was addicted to competition, and Haru didn't understand why he thought that defeating him would make Rin feel free. At the same exact time, however, Haru was excited. He could not ignore it. He was excited at the thought of racing with the only true competitor he'd ever known. He wanted to beat Rin. He wanted to show him the life and breath of swimming again, no matter what it takes.

All the while, Haru never looked away from Gou.

"I'm sorry... I planned on telling everyone tomorrow at practice, but..." She looked down and hid her eyes. "I didn't even know how to."

Haru thought about the other team members, and how this would affect their teamwork. Gou turned to him with a half-hearted smile.

"I suppose I wanted to tell you first. I know how much he affected you."

Haru kept silent. He couldn't communicate while his mind still reeled from the news. He realized that Gou must have seen her brother that night. He figured that it had probably ended badly, and that Gou was obviously hurting a great deal; yet, she still tried to smile.

"I love my brother, very much," she said, turning her eyes back to the ocean. "I do. But… he is an idiot. He doesn't realize how much life he is throwing away."

She dipped her toes in the high tide. The waves rippled soft, blue reflections in her solemn red eyes.

"He used to be so vibrant… He used to be like you; unable to stay away from water for a second. You're both aquatic creatures, I swear." She turned to him with a slight smirk. "I'll bet it's killing you even now to sit on land."

Well, she wasn't wrong.

"But all that changed when he came back from Australia. We used to be the best of friends, he and I… but when he came back home, he wouldn't talk to me about anything. He just ignored every part of his life that wasn't swimming, or working out, or training… including me."

Haru listened in stunned silence. All along, he hadn't even considered how Rin's behavior had affected Gou. He wondered how much pain she had lived through because of her brother. He wondered how similar her childhood was to his own.

"I know that you were close with him… but I'll bet even you could never figure him out." Gou brushed her wild red hair behind her ear, wearing a pensive expression. "Rin is a mystery that becomes more unclear the closer you get."

Everything that Gou was saying struck Haru in the most overwhelming way. He'd thought the exact same thoughts, come to the exact same conclusion. Haru looked at Gou, now in a whole new light. He read the look of guilt and anger and confusion in her water-reflecting eyes like a page he'd memorized by heart:

It was the same look that he'd held in his eyes for years every time he thought about Rin Matsuoka.

Gou looked away from the water, clenching her fists and trying to hide her hurt. What she whispered was quiet, but held an overwhelming amount of hidden fury and despair.

"His younger self would _hate_ who he has become."

Haru looked out at the night ocean, with Gou. He counted the reflections of stars in its dark waves. The two of them let the water's sound saturate the silence, and remained quiet. Haru leaned back, and drew in a long breath, taking it all in. There was something comforting in feeling the atmosphere of the ocean with someone by his side. There was something _more_ comforting in knowing that there was someone else who had shared his hurt and strife all along; there was someone who fought his same fight.

Haru would never forget this night. He was seeing a different side of Gou. A serene, open, vulnerable side that he had never imagined existed. He shifted his blue eyes back to her and watched the water's reflection in her eyes instead. No, he would never forget this night.

Tonight marked the very first time that anything had ever distracted Haru from the water.

Without further ado, he sat up, and slowly rose to his feet. He looked down at the bewildered red-head. With a serious expression, he said,

"It's not just looking at the water that gives me clarity."

Then, he slipped off his shirt, unveiling his muscular torso. Gou's hands shot to cover her eyes, grumbling something about how "you boys will never learn not to undress while a lady is present." Haru wasn't listening, and began to remove his pants. Gou began to flail her arms wildly, screaming,

"H-Haruka! N-no, you can't just – "

When he finished removing his clothing, he tossed it off into the dry sand, and began walking into the water in his bathing suit. He rolled his eyes internally. _When will they ever realize?_

"O-oh," Gou breathed, sounding exasperated. "God, you even wear it when you jog?!"

Haru waded knee-length in the chilly, late spring waves. He turned around, and slowly extended his hand to the girl on the sand. Gou stared up at him with the moon and stars in her eyes.

"You have to swim," he said simply.

Immediately, her face contorted into a wide-eyed, confused stare. He was surprised at how much it made him want to laugh.

"What?! That's ridiculous, I can't just flop into the water like a fish! It's spring! And it's night time!" She squawked. "I don't even have a swimsuit!"

Haru lowered his hand, and shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

And with that, he dove under the dark ocean's blanketing waves. It was almost a drug, it felt so good. He never had to remind himself to come up for air – the ocean's waves would lift him up so that he could breath, then they would wash over him again. The more he swam, the more he noticed Gou watching him, intently. He could see her envious, restless pout from miles away.

Haru must have spent a long time under, because when he resurfaced, he looked at the shore to find it empty. He noticed a pile of clothes on the sand lying next to his. Then, he turned his head, to see Gou making her way slowly into the calm waves. When she noticed him watching her, she looked up, and immediately looked down again, sparking a faint blush on her cheeks.

"Shutup," she murmured, keeping a concentrated eye on the water.

He obeyed, without really trying.

Haru continued to swim, keeping a distant eye on the red-haired skeptic wading near the shoreline. She wore a camisole, and small spandex shorts that she tried to hide beneath the water. He wondered if she played any sports; her arms were defined and toned. Her long red braid trailed behind her in the water, swimming before she was.

Before long, her hesitancy faded, and she was swimming alongside Haru in the deep, dark waves. Gou had a fairly good stroke for a beginner. However, she would have had a better stroke, had she not talked so much. _So… much._

"I can understand why Makoto hates the ocean… it's so dark at night. What if something grabs us from underneath? A shark? A killer dolphin? A gigantic poisonous jellyfish – do they have those in Japan?!" She flopped about anxiously. "What if a giant underwater mermaid colony becomes angry with us and tries to – "

Haru silenced her with a rather large splash to the face. Gou looked at him with an irritated pout, pushing her sopping wet bangs to the side of her face. Haru simply shrugged, and continued to stroke the waves slowly.

The two continued to swim together, and for a long time they both forgot about their troubles and the source of them. They forgot about the medley relay, about regionals, and the long road ahead. Gou seemed her usual self again; happy, contented. They lost track of time, and the moon rose high in the sky above them. Haru resurfaced after a long dive, shook his hair roughly, and stopped. He stared at Gou.

She floated in the water on her back, letting the peaceful, slow current surround her. The waves carried her slim body effortlessly. Her pale skin glowed with bright moonlight. She stared up at the sky with serenity across her face.

"I don't think I'll ever understand what it is about the water that you love so much."

Then, she smiled. The moon and stars glowed in her fiery eyes.

Haru knew he was above water – so why couldn't he breathe?

"But I think…" She paused, and smiled further. "I think I found my clarity in the sky."

Haru collapsed in the water beside her, floating on his back and following her gaze to the sky. He'd never paid close attention to the sky when he swam. Everything in the world around him seemed blurry and insignificant when he was under the waves. He stared at the stars, like tiny holes pinpricked in the black quilt that was the sky. He stared at the moon, a giant glowing orb that had always just looked like a bowl of milk to him.

And just like Gou, he didn't think he'd ever understand what it was about the sky that she loved so much.

But when he shifted his eyes and stared at the calm, peaceful smile on her face and the way the moon and stars made her wonderstruck eyes sparkle like fire, he understood a little.

Only a little, but just enough.

"We're going to win, Haruka."

Their arms touched and connected them together, as if the only two puzzle pieces in the vast ocean had finally found each other. They rose and fell together, carried in the arms of the gentle sea. Haru turned his head to look at her, and Gou did the same. She smiled, and the chilly spring waves felt as warm as summer.

"You'll beat Rin," she whispered, eyes sparkling with confidence. "You'll bring him back to us. I just know it."

And Haru believed her. No, he would never forget this night.

This was the night that the ocean and sky collided.


End file.
